My Life Story; Episode 4
“Take off your pant and spread your legs”, my mum ordered. (That was how strict my mum was)
“But why?” I inquired
“You said you are a virgin right? Oya let me check whether your hymen is still intact or you are deceiving me” she said.
Those words hit me like a bolt of lightening. The very thought of my mum inspecting my virgin hole infuriated me. My countenance changed,
“No mum, you can’t do that, It’s degrading. I won’t let you touch me”
“David! Daniel! Come here” My mum shouted from my room.
“If you won’t co-operate with me, I’ll tell them to hold you down for me, It’s either me and you, or you allow all the men in this house to see your nakedness today”.
David and Daniel were already outside my door, inquiring why my mum wanted them. My crying intensified, a feeling of frustration enveloped me.
“Oya I’m waiting, or should I open the door for them?” My mum said impatiently.
Slowly, I obeyed her, with tears gushing out of my eyes in torrents & anger.
I laid still, and moved my legs apart. What she was looking for, or hoping to find I had no idea. By the time she was through, I wasn’t crying anymore. My countenance changed. It wasn’t just sadness anymore. I was bitter. A feeling of anger and hatred overwhelmed me. My mum, propped herself up, and walked away, without saying a word to me. She probably discovered I had told the truth, but pride and shame won’t let her apologize. That is the one thing I hated about African parents, they feel to big to apologise to their children.
It was almost 1am, I have been deep in thought for hours. My mind went over the day’s activities. My parents have locked me in a cage, my mum humiliated me. My father wants to kill me. I felt alone and depressed. There was only one ray of sunshine for me today. Somebody loves me. He told me himself. I had never felt so loved before.
Despite all that happened today, I will do anything to get that kiss again, to fall helplessly into his caring arms. He‘ll be my shoulder to cry on. I must see Matthew again, no matter what it takes. He alone can help me find happiness in this little world of mine where no one cares about my happiness. I can be so stubborn especially when am not given fair hearing and being misunderstood.
But how do I escape from the watchful eyes of my parents? I know after today, dad will never allow me attend practice again. But I must find a way, I know just the right people who can help me. Sarah and Hannah. I can’t wait to see them.
I spent my Saturday in isolation, I barely came out of my room or talked to anybody. The only person who bordered to find out how I was doing was Daniel. My mum only came to remind me to eat. I never felt true love from people more closer to me. So I thought!
Sunday came along with a lot of promise for me. The thought of seeing Mathew again put a smile on my face. I felt that usual flutter inside me again. I kept wondering how I would see him without my parents finding out.
I got up slowly from my bed, and walked lazily to the sitting room. My family had already started morning devotion. I found some space beside Daniel, and knelt down in front of the statue of virgin Mary. All through the prayer, I merely mumbled some incoherent words. My mind and heart were far removed from the prayer. All I could think about was meeting Matthew again.
The devotion ended. I got up quickly, hoping to dash out of sight before anyone noticed my presence.
“Ruth come back here, we are not finished with you” My father’s voice halted me in my strides.
I turned around with a frown on my face, and hands folded across my chest. My parents had already taken up seats side by side.
“Sit down,” My mum ordered.
“I’m okay like this” I replied, looking upwards with disgust. I have never replied my parents like this before. The anger of what mom did without apologising mixed up with the rage I had for my dad for not giving me a listen ear to explain myself yesterday.
My father cleared his throat and continued.
“You have now decided to bring shame upon me. To the extent that you now sleep with small boys in the house of God…..”
“Daddy I did not…….”
“Shut up!” My dad shouted, getting up from his seat,
“If you interrupt me again I’ll break your head” He thundered.
As menacing as he sounded, I was largely unmoved. The anger that had built up in my heart far exceeded the fear I had for my father. If he attempts to lay his hands on me again, I was ready to fight back this time.
“Hence forth”, He continued, in a harsh and authoritative tone… “You will not go to that practice again. Infact go and tell them you are no longer part of them.. Apart from church and school, do not leave this house to any place. If I see you with that useless boy, or any boy for that matter, i’ll kill both of you with my bare hands. Silly child, you think you will disgrace me and get away with it?”.
“Okay, is that all you have to say?” I asked, in a mocking tone.
“My friend get out of here” my mum replied, obviously irritated by my attitude.
I turned around, and walked lazily towards my bathroom. I wasn’t ready to do any house chores. Whoever wanted me to work, will have to kill me first, I resolved in my heart. Thankfully, nobody disturbed me.
I returned from the bathroom, with a towel tied around my body. I stood in front of my mirror, admiring myself. For once I appreciated how pretty I was and I flashed back to Matthew’s compliment on my beauty. I opened my drawer, and brought out all my makeup accessories, which in total included a comb, face powder and body cream. My parents wouldn’t allow anything else. I applied everything meticulously, making sure it was all perfect.
I looked through my wardrobe, searching for my favourite gown. It was a black dinner gown with touch of gold, tailor-made to my body. It brought out my exact shape, and this made me love the gown more. I stared at the mirror, turning from side to side, making sure I looked perfect. I wanted Matthew to admire me today, if I get the chance to meet him.
It was all perfect, as I stepped outside to meet my parents in the car outside. My mum had her eyes fixed on me, as I took every step towards the car. I could guess exactly what was going on in her mind. We zoomed off. Today, i’ll find a way to out smart my parents.